handmade | illustrated | found | curated design
We now have Apple iPhone cases in our store! There are 50+ designs from our 2017 signature collections in the shop and we are planning to add more (including some seasonal ones) in the next few weeks. We have been so impressed with the quality and durability of these Prihtful cases. We love them and hope you will, too!
We have 100s of vintage items in store this season! Here's a sneak peek of upcoming ones as well as some of our currently listed favorites!
“Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. We know more about war than we know about peace, more about killing than we know about living. We have grasped the mystery of the atom and rejected the Sermon on the Mount.”
"Add a title" by Kiki Li
"Untitled" by Diana Spatariu
"vulcans" by Veronika Gilková
"Richmond, VA" by Ivan Echevarria
"Untitled" by Pam Virada
"untitled" by Viviana Roma
"The spark, has died and now you're just too late" by Ririii
"Condor-dos-andes, o voo mais deslumbrante que já vi" by Tuane Eggers
1 | remembering strength on the anniversary hiroshima (almost a novel but worth the read!)
2 | this uber cute playroom has us bouncing off the walls
3 | gearing up for fall with this fabulous recipe for a healthy hazelnut latte
4 | pretty much the cutest sunglasses we ever did see
5 | salted mexican ganache tart recipe (it speaks for itself, right?)
6 | we love this super easy DIY shelf project from the merrythought
7 | excited to try out some of these fall makeup trends
8 | reading about our impending demise in a nuclear attack (fun stuff, right? ugh.)
9 | this diy because we love painting all things cacti and succulents
10| rad dance party list (c/o Belle and Sebastian) to get your weekend started right
Summertime means lots of flowers, green grass, and blue skies. We're working with Spoonflower fabrics to produce some awesome summery collections for our children's line for 2018! Here's a sneak peek at some of the designs we have on the drawing table. Which one is your favorite?
This week we're crushing on op art, bright colors, florals, and playful lines. Ever since I can remember I gravitated towards mod fashions in a big way. The summer mood for me lately is bringing back memories of running around the streets of Chicago sifting through racks upon racks of vintage dresses sidewalk sales and ogling space age furniture. Secretly, though, I wish I could find a time machine and go back to Carnaby Street in its heyday. Would you wear some of these outlandish fashions, too? There's a reason why some late sixties fashions are still so timeless today and not in the least dated. Do you know what it is? Ferocity, Designers like Mary Quant broke the mold but ultimately it came down to the confidence of the wearer. Some of these fashions are absolutely fierce and there are so many lessons we can learn from the successes and failures of previous generations.
This show-stopping op art dress with vibrant colors is AMAZING. (is)
Super relevant simple style with high contrast. (is)
The late 60's-early 70's had such iconic style when it came to shoes. We love these over-the-top statement flats. (is)
Minimalist vs. Maximalist (is)
Floral prints for DAYS...(is)
A more modern take on vintage fashion but everything they have is pretty amazing. (is)
Classic, simple lines but killer style. (is)
Pretty much anything Colleen Corby wore was amazing. (is)
Sunnies in every shape. (is)
Tamer Animals S U M M E R 2017 C O L L E C T I O N
We are releasing a limited edition stock of printed pendant necklaces by designer/illustrator Taylor Parker (and TA founder) in honor of our rebranding campaign.
Taylor Parker is an architectural/textile designer, illustrator, children's book author, and maker. Through whimsical designs and vibrant colors she hopes to capture the beauty of abstraction through a marriage of nature and the built environment. These designs are a fun and playful way to liven up any wardrobe!
Features:
*Printed design in a resin-filled silver-tone metal alloy bezel-style pendant.
*Pendant is 1" in diameter.
*20" silver-tone metal chain with an adjustable closure.
* Simple, sophisticated design and a one-of-a-kind piece!
To view the collection, click here.
ˌdīəˈramə,ˌdīəˈrämə/
noun
a model representing a scene with three-dimensional figures, either in miniature or as a large-scale museum exhibit.
historical
a scenic painting, viewed through a peephole, in which changes in color and direction of illumination simulate changes in the weather, time of day, etc.. (source: google)
We find ourselves longing for this little finite space that can be controlled. This diorama, this little box, a glimpse into our world or someone else's. In this place we are kings/queens. In this place we seek divination. We can go wherever we want to go, do whatever we want to do, and be whoever we want to be. In a world that is constantly in flux we stare into the abyss of this life that contains us, longing for the simplicity of childhood daydreams and seasons in the sun. But are we three-dimensional or just flagellating our vices for the masses? Are we a carving etched on history or a living, breathing real boy/girl living inside a scene that replays itself in a myriad of ways into dusk? Today we are searching for answers to whether we live inside this fragile frame or outside in a wild sea of ignorance.
xoxo,
Ally
"Richmond, VA" by Ivan Echevarria
"." by I'm from Caravaggio
"cindysherman" by Julian Knaack
"Untitled" by Martine Eshuis
"allthingsredfrog" by Magdalena Bodzioch
"Amor é montanha" by Tuane Eggers
"Neon Caravan" by Naomi
"Love Tester and Physical Fitness" by Oliver Liria
"Untitled" by gilbert terrazas
"US of A" by Louis Dazy
My daughter really, really, really loves Frozen. Like she is in mad love with it. She loves Elsa. She loves Anna. She especially loves Olaf (although her absolute favorite character is Hans hands-down. Go figure!) She is obsessed with the songs and seems very attentive to fairy tales in general. She loves nature and being outdoors so it was very important to bring aspects of those into the design. She adores The Sound of Music, too, so as I began restructuring her nursery I was trying to find some way to tie in all of the things she loves into one space.
The end result was more maximalist than I had anticipated, which is way outside of my usual wheelhouse as an architectural designer with an eye for minimalism. But over the years I have accepted a certain level of creative mess and I think for kids it is important to stimulate them and give them a space that is not so stoic that it becomes boring and lifeless. We do follow the Montessori method for many things but I guess we've sort of made our own chaotic version of it. Aurelie is incredibly bright and it seems like the more colors and textures that are around her the happier she is so there is quite a bit of emphasis on vibrancy. She was born in the late springtime and tends to gravitate towards a color palette that reflects that so many things in this room feature colors she tends to be drawn to.
When I was younger my mother used to go all out and paint pictures of our favorite characters on the wall. There was something very endearing and special about that and I hope to continue that tradition. I do think decals are fun (and definitely easier to remove if you needed to very quickly,) but it feels so much more personal to take the time and design something for my daughter even if it isn't 100% perfect. Even though she'll probably change her preferences half a dozen times in the near future, seeing the big grin on her face lately when she sees her friends on the wall is well worth the work!
The room was originally built with the first portion of the house sometime around the 1870's. Although it has been updated since, it still retains its high ceilings and lots of light. I wanted to create somewhere where she felt safe and free to let her imagination soar while also paying respect to the architectural details of the room. Although there are many things as a designer I would change, I love seeing her have a space all her own that reflects the unique individual she is and her interests!
If you are currently in the planning process, here are some takeaways from this experience that may be of help to you:
1. Repurpose a Bookshelf
Every time I moved I kept lugging around a massive bookshelf. It was sturdy and it did its job well so it probably moved at least 5 times with me already! But one day I was trying to figure out what to build for Aurelie's books/toys and realized the shelf would be perfect. I made it horizontal and refinished it in an afternoon. I also had wooden dowels installed halfway up on some of the shelves so that she couldn't pull the heavier, higher books out and potentially hurt herself. We removed these recently but they worked perfectly!
2. Brackets Are Your Friend
We used brackets for nearly every shelf and piece of furniture to bolt them into the walls. Not only do they serve their purpose perfectly but they also are great for uneven floors and walls that are not orthogonal in old houses like ours.
3. Murals Are a Pain in the A**
The mountain mural took forever and because of the settling of the walls did not always match up perfectly. The painted ones took a long time as well. Are they totally worth it? YES. Are they awful to work on? YES. Just fair warning that it's more of a project than you'll anticipate initially!
4. Tacky Tile is Okay
I used to absolutely abhor the primary colored foam floor tiles, but in all admission my daughter is thrilled and has a blast with them. They may be tacky as all get-out but kids love them and they are worth the investment even if the style wants to make the inner designer in you cry just a little.
5. Don't Be Afraid to Experiment
Experiment! Her nursery was a lot of trial and error with moving things around. Kids grow so quickly and just because they are into something right now doesn't mean they will be tomorrow. It is good to be safe and try to stay within the bounds of what is realistic and has the longest lifespan in your household-- but don't be afraid to step outside the box and try something completely unorthodox. Some of the best designs are caused by happy accidents.
What about you all? What are some successes/failures you have had when designing spaces?
I don't know about you guys but I love to cook. Do you ever create something that you love only to realize you don't remember the ingredients and amounts you put in to make it? BUMMER!
But fret no more because we made ya'll an awesome and colorful set of recipe cards to enjoy! And the best part? It's FREE!
Titles, descriptions, measurements, ingredients, etc for your recipe-chronicling please. There is also a "f/c" for oven temperatures so you can bake whatever you want to perfection. NICE! We really love using them and hope you will as well!
And here is our top-secret chai latte recipe that we have been drinking nonstop around the office! When I was in Pilsen in Chicago a couple of years ago I found a cute coffee shop that had basil-infused lattes. I loved the idea of that and it was mighty tasty! But my love of chai knew no bounds and I wanted to try something out just to see. Sure enough-- it is awesome with chai, too!:
Want your own set? Download our free printable recipe cards here and get cooking!
🎈GIVEAWAY ALERT! 🎈
We're kicking off our Tamer Animals rebranding launch with some fun giveaways in the next few weeks! Yay! This giveaway includes a sweet little necklace from our new collection that will be available in our Etsy (http://tameranimals.etsy.com) and TA shops. It is a silver-tone metal ice resin-filled pendant with hand-painted/gouache cacti on a 20" chain.
How to enter:
1. Follow our new Instagram account @tamer.animals!
2. Like or comment on this post (here or on instagram!)
For extra entries:
3. Tag a friend who might love this (or a few!)
4. Repost/share on instagram so other folks can join in on the fun! (And make sure to tag @tamer.animals or #tameranimalsgiveaway so we know you shared it!)
Fine print: Winner will be chosen at random on the morning of July 4th and notified via private message! This giveaway is in no way conducted by, sponsored, or administered by Instagram or Etsy. Participants must be 18 or older and contest is open to United States residents only at this time.
#giveaway #giveaways #etsyshop #etsyseller #etsy #necklace #handmadejewelry #handmade #makersgonnamake #makersmovement #getcreative #jewelry #design #designer #tameranimalsgiveaway #contest #contestentry #win #winnerwinnerchickendinner #illustration #gouache #watercolor #cactus #cutegiveaway #giveawaytime #instagram
HELLO SUMMER!
This month is starting off with a bang (rebranding! yay!) and we have a bunch of new features, amazing products, and new writers to add to the mix. It's the season of rebirth and we're evolving into our best iteration yet! Click through the gallery below for a sneak peek of (just some of!) the magic coming this summer:
"Obscure Dogma" by Fabrizio Ara FAHC
“War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.”
"Untitled" by Toby Harvard
"74110013" by Matsuki Narishige
"Dos imensos dias em que fomos tão grandiosamente pequenos" by Tuane Eggers
"Untitled" by Martine Eshuis
"Untitled" by Lola Li
"Williamsburg, VA" by Ivan Echevarria
"cherry pop" by Samantha Ashcraft
Italy 2017" by Sofia Podestà
"La musica è vita" by marcus greco
"Entrance" by Chang-Yeol Choi
"As montanhas também dançam, lentamente, a dança do desintegrar" by Tuane Eggers
“Even the damned in Hell have the community of their suffering.”
"I'll be back soon" by Anton Krasnikov
"Malteze.24" by Şerpaş însetat de zăpezile Everestului
"scirocco." by Guglielmo Cherchi
"The Village in the Mountains" by Lucas Marcomini
"Jesus Christ Superstar" by Piero Donadeo
"Portland OR . 2017" by gilbert terrazas
"San Francisco, CA" by Ivan Echevarria
"untitled" by Toby Harvard
"Untitled" by Kathryn Young
"Self portrait" by The little fawn*
There was a point in my life when I was known as an “A-P-O-L-O-G-I-S-T.”
I literally was called this by more than one person and at the time it didn’t really bother me. I laughed about it, self-effacing, depreciating my self without a hint of awareness about what being such entailed. My awkward self would process things accordingly:
Them: “Ouch! I stubbed my toe!”
Me: “I’m sorry!”
Them: “My dog died today.”
Me: “I’m so sorry!”
Them: “I hate my coworker so much!”
Me: “I’m sorry!”
What I probably should have followed up with would be an account of how I am a sensitive person, an empath, who feels things intuitively and picks up on their sorrow or pain. I just wasn’t sure how to say that in a way that didn’t sound ridiculous. By saying “I’m sorry” it meant so much more. It meant “I support you. I am here for you. I can imagine how that feels and it sucks. I am trying to walk in your shoes to understand.” So being labeled an apologist, over time, gets grating. Because I wasn’t apologizing just for the sake of apologizing— I was trying to connect in a meaningful way and did a poor job of it.
The more ironic thing was that an apologist isn’t even what I was. An “apologist” is actually “a person who offers an argument in defense of something controversial” according to the dictionary. I was just under-confident and unable to communicate fully. I have a history of feeling too much, thinking too much, and generally carrying all of that weight around for no reason other than some misguided overwhelming guilt and the unconscious thought that I somehow could take in someone’s pain or sadness so that they would feel less of it. I still wish this was how it worked because I would do it in a heartbeat.
I totally believe that we should all take ownership of our actions and especially apologize meaningfully if a situation warrants an apology. There are so many times that I look back and wish I would have apologized for something I did or said. I can think of very few times in my life that I did something intentionally to inflict hurt on someone though (I can count those on one hand)— but when I have one can rest assured I probably felt worse than they did about it and agonized over it for many years. Sometimes so much time has passed that it would be more awkward to apologize than to simply let it go and hope that the person knew you saw the error in your ways. I have a few of those, too, and I imagine they know I had regrets. I still think about them and wish I would have had better awareness to make things right when things happened rather than waiting too long to where it was immaterial.
We should never apologize or make excuses for who we are or what we do if we are living with a kind heart. If I am living in righteous and humble ways, it’s not my responsibility if someone passes unfair judgement on me or makes false assumptions— That’s on them. Someone that has known me even for six months intimately would only know a small fraction of who I am, and I imagine most people are fairly complex, so I shouldn’t have to apologize for my complexity or my intensity. I am an extremely driven and aggressive (not in the bad way— just in the take-charge and approach people gregariously sort of way) person and I have implemented rather high standards over the years but the highest standards are on my shoulders. I am long-winded-- I love to write. I love the written word. I am a person of great verbosity and being apologetic will not phase me from being genuine and true to my form. I, of course, will apologize if I have hurt someone, whether intentional or unintentional. I have been and will probably always be a person that walks to to beat of my own drummer. I had an ex send me a video on dancing in a style he felt was more refined than my own and I said, "Why on Earth would I want to dance like everyone else? How boring!" Hell or high water, I dance the way I want to and don’t care if I look dumb doing it. I’ll apologize only when it negatively affects others.
We should never apologize for not putting up with bad behavior. Nope, nope, nope, nope. If someone mistreats me, I have every right to explicitly tell them how I feel about it. If they feel this is in error, they have every right to explain their side. But if it affects me, I shouldn’t have to apologize for standing up for myself. I have self-awareness enough these days to know when I am at fault or if the other person is at fault (or in many cases, if we both are, in which case I will apologize for my part in things.) I spent a lot of time holding my tongue in the past and it wounded me. Now I say exactly what I think with as much kindness as I can muster and in the end I have no regrets about that. I’m just learning to be a little bit more concise and straightforward about it (usually—- I am anything but succinct typically.)
We should never apologize for having a past. Yes, I wore black in high school (FYI: not a gothic/devil-worshipper but just had an eating disorder and was ashamed of my body! THANKS, Naysaying Relatives!) I had a lot of boyfriends/partners. I was married once. I have debts. I changed majors. I owned a cafe/vintage store/venue that crashed and burned after a year. I come from a dysfunctional family. I started more projects than I can ever finish in this lifetime. I have had bad things happen to me that shouldn’t have happened to anyone ever. I did burlesque. I used to cuss like a sailor. I used to drink and sang karaoke a bit too much. I have written a few ranty-angsty letters before to boys (usually with good cause, but still probably not befitting of what most consider lady-like behavior)— my point is, all of those things are part of the fabric of who I am, but they do not define me. Every year I grow, I become, and I transcend. I learn and evolve. The person that inherently defines me is my rather spirited character but the person I was even a year ago is a ghost and shadow of my former self—I barely recognize her at all. Life is fluid and ever-changing and so are we. That being said, if someone has wronged people in a criminal way, or done something malicious to another, they should have the balls to apologize for their past behaviors no matter how long ago the incident. A lot of things CAN be solved by a humble apology or trying to make things right, too.
We should never apologize for walking away in the spirit of self-preservation. If I have walked out on someone (or something,) there is a huge chance that I had really, really good reasons for doing so. It’s never a decision I make lightly. It doesn’t mean I stopped caring about the person but it does mean I am not going to play anymore. I am too old to engage in toxic relations with people and want to focus that energy on the people and things that bring joy and passion into my life. I will try for a period, and give them many chances to prove they have a good nature, but at the end of the day if there is more good than bad I will exit or keep my emotional distance permanently.
We should never apologize for bad/sad/messy/off days. Sometimes we all have bad days— sometimes we’re a little antisocial or awkward and that is okay. I was super-guilty of being self-conscious about not being a “small talk” person or apologizing for being unhappy when legitimately horrible things were going on in my life— but no more. I’m letting that freak flag fly. Welcome to my (creative) mess. I will do my best to just tell people ahead of time I am having a “blah” day and then keep to myself. Sometimes being an introverted-extrovert (or vice versa) means we gotta recharge.
We should never apologize for being sensitive. I was often accused of being “oversensitive” in the past (I probably was at times, to be sure) and now that I’m older I have kind of balanced out and am sensitive on a palatable level. But that doesn’t mean that I should never be allowed to cry, or be upset, or have actual emotions about anything. In a society of disconnect, being sensitive is a liability. My sensitivity is what comforts my daughter when she cries and cuts people slack when they clearly are having a rough patch. I should never have been made to feel ashamed for feeling things more deeply than some people do.
I support those who need supporting and whether it comes out as “I’m sorry” or a long diatribe about how much I love and am there for them, it’s genuine and from the heart and people that take issue with that just need to get over it. I’m NOT sorry about that one. No one should ever have to apologize for being kind.
We should only apologize for the things that are worth apologizing about. We shouldn’t have to feel guilty or sorry about things that are out of our control. Just because someone doesn’t take ownership doesn’t mean you have to. We should use that energy in more profound and constructive ways to fuel our inner fires and become what we are meant to be. So guys (and girls)— no apologies (unless you truly NEED to apologize.) You’re officially on notice! :)
It's that time of year again where everything is full of life and flowers are blooming everywhere. Whether you celebrate the holiday or not, there is something very wonderful about dyeing eggs. Some of my fondest memories from my childhood were in the kitchen, painting and dipping eggs and putting those little plastic shrink wraps with the chicken or bunny printed on them. Traditionally Easter eggs were a symbol of fertility/rebirth/bored farmers, but the egg game has definitely hardcore evolved the last few years (blame Pinterest!) I'm really excited to try some of these out with my own kids this year and make some new traditions and memories (terrarium eggs, anyone?!) I want to do them all--they're so pretty! What kind are you wanting to do this year? The possibilities are endless!
via Delia Creates
via Artistic Moods (work by the talented Dinara Mirtalipova)
via Sweet Paul
via Honest to Nod
via SheKnows
via The Alison Show
via Whole Foods
via Lily Ardor
via A Crafted Life
via hello, wonderful
via Alice and Lois
via My Poppet
via Martha Stewart
via Flax + Twine
via Oh Happy Day
via Oh Joy!
via Paper & Stitch
"老泥妹" by k ying wong
“And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
They danced by the light of the moon.”
"neukölln." by Robert Basik
"icefalls" by Veronika Gilková
"..." by Stephane Grasset
"untitled" by Toby Harvard
"Chloé, 2017." by Giulia Micheila
"Noa | Worthy Is the Lamb" by michel nguie
"Rims" by Susan Blase
"untitled" by Lucía Pereyra
"Klimt Memory" by Naomi
These are the simple, cozy things. When the world is hectic and emotions are high, it is nice to focus on the feeling of the ground beneath your bare feet, the cool hardness of the ceramic plate, or the soft fluid feeling of petals. This week we are rounding up some of our favorite minty marvels from across the world:
“Pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity.”
In matters of meritocracy, sometimes we haven't the faintest idea what is going on. We humbly oblige some more moderate version of ourselves to demonstrate how to behave in modern society, yet our current society is full of upheaval and a future that has yet to be determined. We call them the accolades, these momentary glimpses of privilege and centrifugal forces that we often take for granted. Some call it divination or intervention. We walk blindly or swim into their seas, letting the current and the windswept sand direct us where we're meant to go and where we belonged all along.
xoxo,
Ally
"Untitled" by Alex Dietrich
"homesick" by Giuliana Massaro
"red 6" by William Boulter
"Flight over Nazca desert" by _GOZ_
"Untitled" by Kathryn Young
"Selfie underneath the stars" by Matthijs Bettman
"San Francisco, CA" by Ivan Echevarria
"hopes" by topshiha sultana
"My city through my eyes" by Maria Evgenidu
"Untitled" by Benedetta Falugi
"Portland OR . 2016" by Gilbert Terrazas
"De nuevo al frio" by Em Bernatzky
"lone descent" by Dafni Kemeridou
Life can be painful and confusing but at the end of the day every experience shapes and molds us. The end goal (we hope) is that we evolve into better, kinder, wiser versions of ourselves. The older I get, the more I try to refine myself as a person and become a better version of myself. But that better version isn't without growing pains or failures. There are many times I have made lapses of judgement, poor choices, and thrown caution to the wind. I will continue making mistakes and I know that, but I will do my best not to make as many.
When I had my daughter, something within me changed. I am no longer the person I once was-- in a way I became the person I used to be, only I took a detour. In some ways it has made me more loving and patient, but in other ways it has made me more discerning about who or what I want in my life for the next cycle. I am no longer shackled to the things that held me captive before, and although there are different limitations now, I feel more responsive to the world and more confident about my place in it.
Last year I crumbled to dust and was almost swept away by the events of life, but somehow I found courage and strength to rise from the ashes. I am no longer the same but something different. But it also means no longer tolerating that which does not create happiness. When any relationship, big or small, brings you more pain than joy it is time to let go. If I have learned nothing else these last 31 years, it is that I now know when to walk away and when to stay.
I am focusing on raising our daughter and giving her an awesome start at life as much as I am able. I have started meditating have been on a silent self-improvement campaign, living mindfully, and streamlining my life. I am surrounding myself with people that are not so focused on material things, or status, or constantly dwelling in negativity or drama. Although I have always been one to take accountability or eat crow where it is due, I am furthering those initiatives by being more self-aware and preventative. I am more determined to build and maintain those relationships where it feels mutual and being the best mom, daughter, girlfriend, friend, and acquaintance I can be. I am educating myself on so many subjects right now, kickstarting a business, writing books, volunteering, and throwing myself into my new job with all of its meaningful work. I am casting out disingenuous friendships and dishonest relations and striving toward being around people who have integrity and make me want to be and do more. Selfish and selfless but nevertheless growing. But I want to be a better version of myself for my family and for myself.
Throughout this process, I often return to these TEN Meditations Fit For a Phoenix:
1. ACCEPT (AND RESPECT) WHAT WE CANNOT CHANGE
I read this article and it really resonated with me. I think much of the time we feel like we are in control but it is such an illusory idea that we have control over anything in our lives. Even our decisions, however minor, generally have a process. It can be frustrating to recognize this powerlessness within us. However, there is great courage in allowing everyone the space and respect to be their own person. There is great sacrifice in loving yourself and accepting that your power lies not in what you can control but how you navigate the sea of change.
2. NEVER REMAIN NEUTRAL (BUT TAKE THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE OFTEN)
The great Elie Wiesel once said: "We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere." I think it is important to have integrity and stand up for yourself (or others) when there is injustice. Remaining neutral may be peaceful but it order to help influence change in our society or improve the quality of life for others it is of paramount importance that we find our voices and be willing to intelligently and compassionately support those who need our support. If we can take the path of least resistance, that is ideal, but in all things we should be mindful of the fact that collectively we have the opportunity to make big or small changes within our circles or communities if we are willing to try. We ourselves can be responsible for our actions or inaction— change starts with us.
3. FORGIVE WHAT WE DO NOT UNDERSTAND
We all make mistakes and misunderstandings are a direct result of not being the same person. I know I am often guilty of only seeing my perspective until I remind myself that other people process things differently and no one is wrong in that respect. Perception is reality. So I am very conscious of trying to think through the motivations of others and attempt to understand where they are coming from and why they do the things they do. I may not forget the transgressions but this has allowed me to forgive them, for the human error exists in us all. Just because I don't understand something or share the same values doesn't mean that the other person’s process is any less valuable or real. This fantastic guided meditation by Deepak Chopra is so helpful in combatting the negative and disparate feelings resulting from this confusion. That being said, we cannot fault ourselves too harshly for not forgiving or forgetting others’ transgressions against us. You can “forgive” in your own mind to be at peace but it doesn’t mean the other person gets a free pass, either. If you have difficulty forgiving another, it is okay to talk to them about it. If they still fail to see that they might have hurt you (or refuse to hear your perspective out as your personal “truth,”) or will not take accountability for their part, you can “forgive” them in spirit and move on with life in peace.
4. TAKE COMFORT IN THE PASSING OF TIME
When my childhood pets died suddenly, I thought I would never heal. I probably cried every day for at least a year. They were with me through so much of my life and the world felt very empty and lonely without them there. The grieving process for any end can be long or short, fast or slow, and has its own way of operating. Grief doesn't have a timeline or a guidebook. Whether a physical death or a figurative one, we are reminded of our mortality, of the clock ticking, and of the feelings associated with uncertainty. We must take comfort in the fact that we are able to have time now to manifest change within ourselves and within our lives. Rather than taking a fatalistic approach to life, we should make every minute count with those we hold dear and consciously not take them for granted. We can take comfort in the fact that slow or fast, we can choose to create wonderful experiences during the passage of time that will be timeless.
5. BE PRESENT
Along with being more self-aware, being present in our lives is of great importance. I know at times I am guilty of looking at my phone a bit too much or distracting myself from feeling or experiencing on more profound levels just to escape momentarily, but in an age where connection is fleeting we need to be more present and in touch with not only ourselves but the world around us. There are so many details we probably miss every day if we would just look up and interact with our environment and the ironies of life.
6. REFLECT ON IMPROVEMENT
Start a bullet journal. List goals, accomplishments, and create detailed plans for improvement. Really evaluate your strengths and weaknesses. Focus on the person you want to be without the limitations of societal or personal obstacles and outline the steps to achieve your dreams, even if you don't know what you want 100%. And expect failures. Sometimes you will say something you wish you hadn’t (and later chide yourself for going backward into an old habit) or sometimes you will do things and realize in the moment that it is not serving you to do things. It’s okay. Part of the improvement process is making mistakes—it is how you move forward afterward and your actions that count.
7. BE MORE VULNERABLE
Don't let bad experiences hold you back from love or happiness. I know for me personally I accumulated bad experiences in a mental suitcase and traveled around from place to place saying,"Oh no-- I've seen this before." It wasn't until I met my current boyfriend that I realized that after years of thinking I had all these issues and hangups that made me unlovable that I actually DIDN'T have those things-- I just made poor choices in who I made myself vulnerable to and often we were incompatible in that respect. So I went into this relationship with no roadmap-- I went in sans suitcase and I found that by being MORE vulnerable, letting my guard down, and not letting my past mistakes discolor the very bright and sunny portrait that I was-- I was loved and accepted for who I am intrinsically, regardless of my faults. And now I don't feel the anxiety, fears, or insecurities that came with all of the others because I am being the best self I can be (not what someone else expected me to be) and being completely transparent. And whether it lasts forever or not, there was a great gift in being vulnerable to one another and healing those aspects of ourselves that others might have taken for granted.
8. TAKE A LEAP INTO THE UNKNOWN
Like many of you, I have fears: fears of failure, fears of financial ruin, etc. Real, legitimate, crazy making fears about not being good enough. Fears especially about parenthood and making my family proud. When we constantly compare ourselves to others and their successes, we are focusing meaningful energy on something useless and depressing. Sometimes we have to take calculated risks and take chances that we normally would talk ourselves out of. By putting the focus back on ourselves and taking INSPIRATION from the things that enrich our souls rather than being green with envy over what we feel we have yet to accomplish, we can map positive strategies to maximize our success. Be consistent. Be intentional. Rather than worry about potential failure, reorient your mindset to what success looks like and attempt to make your dreams come true. You won't know if you can succeed if you never try it.
9. CREATION IS CATHARTIC
There seems to be a strong correlation between wellbeing and creation for those geared toward more artistic endeavors. It is a mutually symbiotic relationship. I feel more alive, more vibrant, and more confident when creating things than in any other aspect of my life. It is my lifeblood, how I recuperate, and is generally what keeps me in good spirits the majority of days. Having that outlet is important. Without it I used to have a tendency to retreat within myself, become depressed or anxious, and generally feel under-confident about who I was or what my capabilities were. When faced with a creative block, I have to really work hard at other areas of my life to generate the enthusiasm needed to sustain the same level of expansive optimism that I normally take for granted. The catharsis lies in the ability to channel more articulate ways of doing things, as the more you do a particular task the better you can accomplish it in the future. By creating, you maintain some semblance of control. Like other creators and artists, you can find unique ways that work for you to get the creative energy flowing.
10. RISE ABOVE
Always try to be your best self (or strive for that— but don’t beat yourself up if you makes mistakes, too, because they are inevitable lessons. ) Always treat people as you would like to be treated (but likewise don’t let someone walk over you if they are mistreating or disrespecting you; there is a time to be silent but there is also a time to stand up for yourself. You’ll learn the difference.) Respect those in different situations from your own and if you can aid them in a better situation or mindset— do so. Don't rush to judgement— spend a lot of time sorting through the facts before making a decision about someone’s character. Remember that when you face adversity it builds your character and that you can only change/help yourself— not others. If you aren't changing then you are stagnating. Rise above your limitations. Rise from the ashes and become your higher self.
What are some things you do regularly to improve your life?
