handmade | illustrated | found | curated design
Our custom banners will be coming next month to our etsy store. Each banner is hand-sewn and made with quality vinyl (black or white although we will have more options soon,) felt (1" or 2" letters in black, white, or red,) and recycled vintage fabrics. They are mostly inspired by soul music but feature a variety of mottos as well.
Works in progress.
Some of the options that will be available for pre-order!:
When I came online today, I was astounded. The many voices saying “me, too”-- men and women and otherwise, echoed a profound and unfortunate reality that exists in our society today. Some people, many people, are assholes. And some people, many people, have been in situations no one should ever have to be in. It is not a reality I ever wanted to believe but here we all are.
In reading some of the stories I would find myself nodding my head in agreement because I had been there on some level. Some of the stories were heartwrenching and although I couldn’t relate to them situationally I could put myself in the person’s shoes enough to understand that it was horrendous. Some were so eerily relatable that it saddened me that someone else went through the same things I did. And it’s easy for people to target that. Behind a computer it is easy for folks to tear you down and add insult to injury. The people that tear others down with this are the very people who fail to understand the implications of it. Whether they realize it or not, they are part of the problem. I feel awful even writing this because some of the stories I have read today are simply so deplorable that no amount of uplifting statements can support them in a way that would be meaningful.
Gross misconduct is a real thing, as is abuse, as is assault. Often if you even try to bring it up, especially when it is someone mutually known, it is discounted, invalidated, or distorted. Guys (or girls for that matter) saying someone is “crazy” or “exaggerating” are terms that are so easily thrown around these days to justify bad behavior. Defaming, bullying, and threatening are also pretty commonplace as well. I have friends that support known rapists or abusers and it is always a hard call for me on whether to forgive them for their ignorance or to distance myself from them as well. These are things that should not be trivialized or compartmentalized. And some people are REALLY, REALLY GOOD at distorting the truth to serve their agenda. If no one was there to see it or hear it, did it really happen? Therein lies the problematic manner of these situations. It comes down to faith in one another and unfortunately people are so disconnected these days that they are avoidant as a default with little faith in anyone-- even themselves.
I have too many instances to list and they are not things I like to revisit or even talk about beyond the surface details. I wasn’t very pretty or attention-seeking or all of the things that people tend to lump into the category of “asking for it.” I was an awkward, bookish, waif of a thing that liked vintage clothes and art growing up. I generally kept to myself (and a small ragtag circle of friends.) I had a classmate in junior high school put his hands down my pants multiple times and threatened me with violence if I told anyone. So I didn’t.
Multiple guys wrote to me after I was divorced telling me I was “damaged goods” and not worthy of something beyond a one night stand and that I was lucky they could be available for that (so flattering, I know.) Three guys told me I was a “just a conquest” because I was "unattainable" after targeting me in such calculated ways that I never in a million years could have thought they were capable of (an irony not lost on me.) A trusted ex-boyfriend’s brother blackmailed me and took advantage of me as a result.
A random guy at a bar tried to force himself on me after a brief casual conversation when I went to leave and called me a “conceited cocksucking whore” and a host of other expletives because I politely declined his advances. And there were of course some failed relationships that were filled with abusive, controlling, and gaslighting behaviors that made me almost lose myself entirely and caused major shifts for me in my social circles if I did step forward and bring anything out in the open. They are tough subjects— the kind we talk about amongst our friends in hushed voices because even if we had proof of things we’re too conditioned to fear that no would believe us. Or we’re “too nice” to want to air our grievances. These are just some examples and skim the surface for many women. I could keep going and list several more unfortunate things, but my message for myself and for others is simple:
This behavior is NOT okay no matter how anyone seeks to justify it and their actions do NOT define you or your life.
I repeat: DO NOT LET THEIR ACTIONS DEFINE YOU.
And it is okay to speak up, even if it hurts and even if you have to relive that pain or fear over and over again until you don’t feel anymore. Even if it means losing your support system or blacklisting yourself in the process. Because the end result is that you will transcend beyond it when you realize that it isn’t your fault and that there was no way to prevent it. At some point you WILL move on and they will lose that power over you. Anyone who didn’t believe you or spoke against you will likely someday see your truth and have to come to terms with that whether they reach out to you or not. And definitely speak up for others who are too afraid to speak. If you see bad things going down and do nothing to help, you are just as much a part of the problem.
It didn’t take much reflection for me to figure out that when something like 600 of my friends are posting stories and meeting in solidarity, the problem is not a result of how we are dressed, how we act, or how we react necessarily. We can never really foresee how who we are will trigger these responses in people like this. The problem is that our society condemns “unpleasant” things and tends to push them under the rug. It is far easier to pretend these harsh realities don’t exist than to confront them and move beyond them. Everyone knows it, no one wants to believe it, and it is easier to live in a world where we are emotionally detached from such outcomes. It is easy to believe that he or she is just “wanting attention” or “lying for sympathy” than to believe the ugly truth of humanity and ugly motivations of others. The ugly truth is that humans, in general, are severely dysfunctional on many levels. The reality is that some people have a complete lack of conscience, compassion, or integrity in this world. Something I didn't really believe until I was shown it in some less-than-stellar ways.
This is not to say that people don’t lie about these things but I would be willing to venture that the majority are telling the truth or some version of the truth. It is far easier for many people to believe the abusers or to look away— until they are victimized themselves; until the unthinkable happens to them. And I am lopping them all into the same category because regardless of how minor the action, it is still a form of abuse or misconduct. And still not okay no matter how you spin it. I always come back to that Louis C.K. quote: "When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't."Just because someone thinks catcalling or groping is harmless doesn't mean it doesn't harm someone, for example.
There are no easy answers or solutions. This is not just a current problem but an ongoing social epidemic that has been going on for generations. We hear more about it simply because there are more people and there is more easily-digestible information out there. And more people seeking to connect and to be more bold than they were before about things once considered more taboo, really. Things happen and you react to them, or don’t react at all, or sit somewhere in the middle like Switzerland because you assume you caused it somehow by how you acted or looked and take accountability for it out of shame. Eventually society conditions you that while this isn’t “okay” it is how the world just is and you have to deal with it on your own. After the anxiety and fear subside, you end up just internalizing it as something you have to accept because it happened. No matter how much you vow to make sure it doesn’t happen again, you know it can happen and can be much, much worse. After you have seen the evils of the world it is next to impossible to pretend it doesn’t exist.
I wish we could post all of those derogatory texts or e-mails publicly so our friends and relatives could see what these evils look like and react accordingly. I wish we could record those conversations or assaults/attempts and put them on blast for the world to see. I wish that we could live in a society where people are held accountable for their actions. If the penalty was high enough, and if society ostracized those who tended to engage in such behaviors, I would guess that it would end much of this. Most of the people that engage in these behaviors would not want to be exposed and they should be. Our legal system should not protect them or give them a free pass. People that have been victimized should not feel like they themselves will be ostracized, invalidated, or worse if they come forward. But at the end of the day, often it just isn’t worth it. Fighting often resolves nothing. It is far easier to rebuild, walk away, and let God sort those people out. Some things are worth letting go, too.
It wasn’t until I had my daughter that everything came to a head for me and I had to realize that NONE of it was okay or acceptable or even something I could walk away from. Because at the end of the day, I was not a victim. A victim of circumstances, perhaps, but I decided then and there that I would not allow shitty individuals to rob me of who I was or what I had to offer the world. And I wanted to set a good example for my kid and be strong rather than defeated by the blows that these failures of society had dealt me. I have to face these things head on because I feel my daughter deserves to live in a world where she will not have to go through the things that I did or the majority of us have. It’s wishful thinking, I know, but I have hope that if I can prepare her enough and educate her she might stand a chance to at least avoid some of it. I will probably never “speak out” about things that have happened to me (and certainly there are things I will just never be able to tell her even if I was allowed to,) but I will raise her to be more inquisitive, to trust her gut, and to have the capacity to say no— things I wish I would have known more about growing up. If I can show her how to be strong, kind, and how to overcome any setbacks she encounters, I know she will be able to go through life with the discernment to decide what is wrong and right.
There are many wars in our world currently and this is one we will probably not end anytime soon if ever. Generations of people who do not respect others are already in the process of replacing the old generations of crappy people that did crappy things, too. Some people fail to evolve no matter how much we want them to or even how much they want to. But we can teach our children to do better than we have. We can teach them to fight back and to be vigilant. We can teach them to know right from wrong and treat others with respect. We can teach them to be kind. Many people will not do this, but many will. And we need to speak up now more than ever. We need to tell those stories and show that we are human. We need to show the people that do these things that we will fight back and some day we will prevail— that their days of terrorizing others with their inappropriate or violent behaviors are numbered.
Because we already win. They may not realize this because they feel they have brought us to our knees, given them the twisted attention/reaction/pleasure they were craving, or destroyed our innocence.
WE WIN.
We win when we say NO.
We win when we try to fight back.
We win when we are brave and true to ourselves.
We win when we say that despite the awful things they have done, we will keep going and we will be stronger and wiser than before.
We win because we still have hearts and goodness in us— no matter how they try to seek that for themselves, they cannot take that from us.
We win when we forgive (but never forget).
We win even when we are silent because sometimes not reacting is the best way to not give them what they are seeking.
We win by lifting others up when they cannot lift themselves up.
We win because something that could, and should, rip us to shreds DIDN’T.
We win because they will likely always be stuck in the crappy person that they are—insecure, dishonest, unimportant, and perpetually dissatisfied (and those are some of the finer points, really.) They will continue to hurt others, take advantage of them, disrespect, lie, manipulate, etc and likely push away anyone who would have genuinely cared about them as a result. And you will feel sorry for them, but you shouldn’t, because we all make choices and we all have to potential to be better, smarter, kinder versions of ourselves if we actively work towards those things.
We will always win because we grow, and be, and do. Even when we don't think we are winning, eventually we will see how far we have come against all odds.
We win because they cannot take our fire from us forever.
We win because we learn from this and we teach our children to be everything they are not.
We win because we keep going, whether for ourselves or those who came before us.
We win because they cannot take our light and they cannot take our spirit, no matter how hard they try or how dark things may seem to us at the time.
We win every time.
We now have Apple iPhone cases in our store! There are 50+ designs from our 2017 signature collections in the shop and we are planning to add more (including some seasonal ones) in the next few weeks. We have been so impressed with the quality and durability of these Prihtful cases. We love them and hope you will, too!
We have 100s of vintage items in store this season! Here's a sneak peek of upcoming ones as well as some of our currently listed favorites!
“Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. We know more about war than we know about peace, more about killing than we know about living. We have grasped the mystery of the atom and rejected the Sermon on the Mount.”
"Add a title" by Kiki Li
"Untitled" by Diana Spatariu
"vulcans" by Veronika Gilková
"Richmond, VA" by Ivan Echevarria
"Untitled" by Pam Virada
"untitled" by Viviana Roma
"The spark, has died and now you're just too late" by Ririii
"Condor-dos-andes, o voo mais deslumbrante que já vi" by Tuane Eggers
1 | remembering strength on the anniversary hiroshima (almost a novel but worth the read!)
2 | this uber cute playroom has us bouncing off the walls
3 | gearing up for fall with this fabulous recipe for a healthy hazelnut latte
4 | pretty much the cutest sunglasses we ever did see
5 | salted mexican ganache tart recipe (it speaks for itself, right?)
6 | we love this super easy DIY shelf project from the merrythought
7 | excited to try out some of these fall makeup trends
8 | reading about our impending demise in a nuclear attack (fun stuff, right? ugh.)
9 | this diy because we love painting all things cacti and succulents
10| rad dance party list (c/o Belle and Sebastian) to get your weekend started right
Summertime means lots of flowers, green grass, and blue skies. We're working with Spoonflower fabrics to produce some awesome summery collections for our children's line for 2018! Here's a sneak peek at some of the designs we have on the drawing table. Which one is your favorite?
This week we're crushing on op art, bright colors, florals, and playful lines. Ever since I can remember I gravitated towards mod fashions in a big way. The summer mood for me lately is bringing back memories of running around the streets of Chicago sifting through racks upon racks of vintage dresses sidewalk sales and ogling space age furniture. Secretly, though, I wish I could find a time machine and go back to Carnaby Street in its heyday. Would you wear some of these outlandish fashions, too? There's a reason why some late sixties fashions are still so timeless today and not in the least dated. Do you know what it is? Ferocity, Designers like Mary Quant broke the mold but ultimately it came down to the confidence of the wearer. Some of these fashions are absolutely fierce and there are so many lessons we can learn from the successes and failures of previous generations.
This show-stopping op art dress with vibrant colors is AMAZING. (is)
Super relevant simple style with high contrast. (is)
The late 60's-early 70's had such iconic style when it came to shoes. We love these over-the-top statement flats. (is)
Minimalist vs. Maximalist (is)
Floral prints for DAYS...(is)
A more modern take on vintage fashion but everything they have is pretty amazing. (is)
Classic, simple lines but killer style. (is)
Pretty much anything Colleen Corby wore was amazing. (is)
Sunnies in every shape. (is)
Tamer Animals S U M M E R 2017 C O L L E C T I O N
We are releasing a limited edition stock of printed pendant necklaces by designer/illustrator Taylor Parker (and TA founder) in honor of our rebranding campaign.
Taylor Parker is an architectural/textile designer, illustrator, children's book author, and maker. Through whimsical designs and vibrant colors she hopes to capture the beauty of abstraction through a marriage of nature and the built environment. These designs are a fun and playful way to liven up any wardrobe!
Features:
*Printed design in a resin-filled silver-tone metal alloy bezel-style pendant.
*Pendant is 1" in diameter.
*20" silver-tone metal chain with an adjustable closure.
* Simple, sophisticated design and a one-of-a-kind piece!
To view the collection, click here.
ˌdīəˈramə,ˌdīəˈrämə/
noun
a model representing a scene with three-dimensional figures, either in miniature or as a large-scale museum exhibit.
historical
a scenic painting, viewed through a peephole, in which changes in color and direction of illumination simulate changes in the weather, time of day, etc.. (source: google)
We find ourselves longing for this little finite space that can be controlled. This diorama, this little box, a glimpse into our world or someone else's. In this place we are kings/queens. In this place we seek divination. We can go wherever we want to go, do whatever we want to do, and be whoever we want to be. In a world that is constantly in flux we stare into the abyss of this life that contains us, longing for the simplicity of childhood daydreams and seasons in the sun. But are we three-dimensional or just flagellating our vices for the masses? Are we a carving etched on history or a living, breathing real boy/girl living inside a scene that replays itself in a myriad of ways into dusk? Today we are searching for answers to whether we live inside this fragile frame or outside in a wild sea of ignorance.
xoxo,
Ally
"Richmond, VA" by Ivan Echevarria
"." by I'm from Caravaggio
"cindysherman" by Julian Knaack
"Untitled" by Martine Eshuis
"allthingsredfrog" by Magdalena Bodzioch
"Amor é montanha" by Tuane Eggers
"Neon Caravan" by Naomi
"Love Tester and Physical Fitness" by Oliver Liria
"Untitled" by gilbert terrazas
"US of A" by Louis Dazy
My daughter really, really, really loves Frozen. Like she is in mad love with it. She loves Elsa. She loves Anna. She especially loves Olaf (although her absolute favorite character is Hans hands-down. Go figure!) She is obsessed with the songs and seems very attentive to fairy tales in general. She loves nature and being outdoors so it was very important to bring aspects of those into the design. She adores The Sound of Music, too, so as I began restructuring her nursery I was trying to find some way to tie in all of the things she loves into one space.
The end result was more maximalist than I had anticipated, which is way outside of my usual wheelhouse as an architectural designer with an eye for minimalism. But over the years I have accepted a certain level of creative mess and I think for kids it is important to stimulate them and give them a space that is not so stoic that it becomes boring and lifeless. We do follow the Montessori method for many things but I guess we've sort of made our own chaotic version of it. Aurelie is incredibly bright and it seems like the more colors and textures that are around her the happier she is so there is quite a bit of emphasis on vibrancy. She was born in the late springtime and tends to gravitate towards a color palette that reflects that so many things in this room feature colors she tends to be drawn to.
When I was younger my mother used to go all out and paint pictures of our favorite characters on the wall. There was something very endearing and special about that and I hope to continue that tradition. I do think decals are fun (and definitely easier to remove if you needed to very quickly,) but it feels so much more personal to take the time and design something for my daughter even if it isn't 100% perfect. Even though she'll probably change her preferences half a dozen times in the near future, seeing the big grin on her face lately when she sees her friends on the wall is well worth the work!
The room was originally built with the first portion of the house sometime around the 1870's. Although it has been updated since, it still retains its high ceilings and lots of light. I wanted to create somewhere where she felt safe and free to let her imagination soar while also paying respect to the architectural details of the room. Although there are many things as a designer I would change, I love seeing her have a space all her own that reflects the unique individual she is and her interests!
If you are currently in the planning process, here are some takeaways from this experience that may be of help to you:
1. Repurpose a Bookshelf
Every time I moved I kept lugging around a massive bookshelf. It was sturdy and it did its job well so it probably moved at least 5 times with me already! But one day I was trying to figure out what to build for Aurelie's books/toys and realized the shelf would be perfect. I made it horizontal and refinished it in an afternoon. I also had wooden dowels installed halfway up on some of the shelves so that she couldn't pull the heavier, higher books out and potentially hurt herself. We removed these recently but they worked perfectly!
2. Brackets Are Your Friend
We used brackets for nearly every shelf and piece of furniture to bolt them into the walls. Not only do they serve their purpose perfectly but they also are great for uneven floors and walls that are not orthogonal in old houses like ours.
3. Murals Are a Pain in the A**
The mountain mural took forever and because of the settling of the walls did not always match up perfectly. The painted ones took a long time as well. Are they totally worth it? YES. Are they awful to work on? YES. Just fair warning that it's more of a project than you'll anticipate initially!
4. Tacky Tile is Okay
I used to absolutely abhor the primary colored foam floor tiles, but in all admission my daughter is thrilled and has a blast with them. They may be tacky as all get-out but kids love them and they are worth the investment even if the style wants to make the inner designer in you cry just a little.
5. Don't Be Afraid to Experiment
Experiment! Her nursery was a lot of trial and error with moving things around. Kids grow so quickly and just because they are into something right now doesn't mean they will be tomorrow. It is good to be safe and try to stay within the bounds of what is realistic and has the longest lifespan in your household-- but don't be afraid to step outside the box and try something completely unorthodox. Some of the best designs are caused by happy accidents.
What about you all? What are some successes/failures you have had when designing spaces?
I don't know about you guys but I love to cook. Do you ever create something that you love only to realize you don't remember the ingredients and amounts you put in to make it? BUMMER!
But fret no more because we made ya'll an awesome and colorful set of recipe cards to enjoy! And the best part? It's FREE!
Titles, descriptions, measurements, ingredients, etc for your recipe-chronicling please. There is also a "f/c" for oven temperatures so you can bake whatever you want to perfection. NICE! We really love using them and hope you will as well!
And here is our top-secret chai latte recipe that we have been drinking nonstop around the office! When I was in Pilsen in Chicago a couple of years ago I found a cute coffee shop that had basil-infused lattes. I loved the idea of that and it was mighty tasty! But my love of chai knew no bounds and I wanted to try something out just to see. Sure enough-- it is awesome with chai, too!:
Want your own set? Download our free printable recipe cards here and get cooking!
🎈GIVEAWAY ALERT! 🎈
We're kicking off our Tamer Animals rebranding launch with some fun giveaways in the next few weeks! Yay! This giveaway includes a sweet little necklace from our new collection that will be available in our Etsy (http://tameranimals.etsy.com) and TA shops. It is a silver-tone metal ice resin-filled pendant with hand-painted/gouache cacti on a 20" chain.
How to enter:
1. Follow our new Instagram account @tamer.animals!
2. Like or comment on this post (here or on instagram!)
For extra entries:
3. Tag a friend who might love this (or a few!)
4. Repost/share on instagram so other folks can join in on the fun! (And make sure to tag @tamer.animals or #tameranimalsgiveaway so we know you shared it!)
Fine print: Winner will be chosen at random on the morning of July 4th and notified via private message! This giveaway is in no way conducted by, sponsored, or administered by Instagram or Etsy. Participants must be 18 or older and contest is open to United States residents only at this time.
#giveaway #giveaways #etsyshop #etsyseller #etsy #necklace #handmadejewelry #handmade #makersgonnamake #makersmovement #getcreative #jewelry #design #designer #tameranimalsgiveaway #contest #contestentry #win #winnerwinnerchickendinner #illustration #gouache #watercolor #cactus #cutegiveaway #giveawaytime #instagram
HELLO SUMMER!
This month is starting off with a bang (rebranding! yay!) and we have a bunch of new features, amazing products, and new writers to add to the mix. It's the season of rebirth and we're evolving into our best iteration yet! Click through the gallery below for a sneak peek of (just some of!) the magic coming this summer:
"Obscure Dogma" by Fabrizio Ara FAHC
“War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.”
"Untitled" by Toby Harvard
"74110013" by Matsuki Narishige
"Dos imensos dias em que fomos tão grandiosamente pequenos" by Tuane Eggers
"Untitled" by Martine Eshuis
"Untitled" by Lola Li
"Williamsburg, VA" by Ivan Echevarria
"cherry pop" by Samantha Ashcraft
Italy 2017" by Sofia Podestà
"La musica è vita" by marcus greco
"Entrance" by Chang-Yeol Choi
"As montanhas também dançam, lentamente, a dança do desintegrar" by Tuane Eggers
“Even the damned in Hell have the community of their suffering.”
"I'll be back soon" by Anton Krasnikov
"Malteze.24" by Şerpaş însetat de zăpezile Everestului
"scirocco." by Guglielmo Cherchi
"The Village in the Mountains" by Lucas Marcomini
"Jesus Christ Superstar" by Piero Donadeo
"Portland OR . 2017" by gilbert terrazas
"San Francisco, CA" by Ivan Echevarria
"untitled" by Toby Harvard
"Untitled" by Kathryn Young
"Self portrait" by The little fawn*
There was a point in my life when I was known as an “A-P-O-L-O-G-I-S-T.”
I literally was called this by more than one person and at the time it didn’t really bother me. I laughed about it, self-effacing, depreciating my self without a hint of awareness about what being such entailed. My awkward self would process things accordingly:
Them: “Ouch! I stubbed my toe!”
Me: “I’m sorry!”
Them: “My dog died today.”
Me: “I’m so sorry!”
Them: “I hate my coworker so much!”
Me: “I’m sorry!”
What I probably should have followed up with would be an account of how I am a sensitive person, an empath, who feels things intuitively and picks up on their sorrow or pain. I just wasn’t sure how to say that in a way that didn’t sound ridiculous. By saying “I’m sorry” it meant so much more. It meant “I support you. I am here for you. I can imagine how that feels and it sucks. I am trying to walk in your shoes to understand.” So being labeled an apologist, over time, gets grating. Because I wasn’t apologizing just for the sake of apologizing— I was trying to connect in a meaningful way and did a poor job of it.
The more ironic thing was that an apologist isn’t even what I was. An “apologist” is actually “a person who offers an argument in defense of something controversial” according to the dictionary. I was just under-confident and unable to communicate fully. I have a history of feeling too much, thinking too much, and generally carrying all of that weight around for no reason other than some misguided overwhelming guilt and the unconscious thought that I somehow could take in someone’s pain or sadness so that they would feel less of it. I still wish this was how it worked because I would do it in a heartbeat.
I totally believe that we should all take ownership of our actions and especially apologize meaningfully if a situation warrants an apology. There are so many times that I look back and wish I would have apologized for something I did or said. I can think of very few times in my life that I did something intentionally to inflict hurt on someone though (I can count those on one hand)— but when I have one can rest assured I probably felt worse than they did about it and agonized over it for many years. Sometimes so much time has passed that it would be more awkward to apologize than to simply let it go and hope that the person knew you saw the error in your ways. I have a few of those, too, and I imagine they know I had regrets. I still think about them and wish I would have had better awareness to make things right when things happened rather than waiting too long to where it was immaterial.
We should never apologize or make excuses for who we are or what we do if we are living with a kind heart. If I am living in righteous and humble ways, it’s not my responsibility if someone passes unfair judgement on me or makes false assumptions— That’s on them. Someone that has known me even for six months intimately would only know a small fraction of who I am, and I imagine most people are fairly complex, so I shouldn’t have to apologize for my complexity or my intensity. I am an extremely driven and aggressive (not in the bad way— just in the take-charge and approach people gregariously sort of way) person and I have implemented rather high standards over the years but the highest standards are on my shoulders. I am long-winded-- I love to write. I love the written word. I am a person of great verbosity and being apologetic will not phase me from being genuine and true to my form. I, of course, will apologize if I have hurt someone, whether intentional or unintentional. I have been and will probably always be a person that walks to to beat of my own drummer. I had an ex send me a video on dancing in a style he felt was more refined than my own and I said, "Why on Earth would I want to dance like everyone else? How boring!" Hell or high water, I dance the way I want to and don’t care if I look dumb doing it. I’ll apologize only when it negatively affects others.
We should never apologize for not putting up with bad behavior. Nope, nope, nope, nope. If someone mistreats me, I have every right to explicitly tell them how I feel about it. If they feel this is in error, they have every right to explain their side. But if it affects me, I shouldn’t have to apologize for standing up for myself. I have self-awareness enough these days to know when I am at fault or if the other person is at fault (or in many cases, if we both are, in which case I will apologize for my part in things.) I spent a lot of time holding my tongue in the past and it wounded me. Now I say exactly what I think with as much kindness as I can muster and in the end I have no regrets about that. I’m just learning to be a little bit more concise and straightforward about it (usually—- I am anything but succinct typically.)
We should never apologize for having a past. Yes, I wore black in high school (FYI: not a gothic/devil-worshipper but just had an eating disorder and was ashamed of my body! THANKS, Naysaying Relatives!) I had a lot of boyfriends/partners. I was married once. I have debts. I changed majors. I owned a cafe/vintage store/venue that crashed and burned after a year. I come from a dysfunctional family. I started more projects than I can ever finish in this lifetime. I have had bad things happen to me that shouldn’t have happened to anyone ever. I did burlesque. I used to cuss like a sailor. I used to drink and sang karaoke a bit too much. I have written a few ranty-angsty letters before to boys (usually with good cause, but still probably not befitting of what most consider lady-like behavior)— my point is, all of those things are part of the fabric of who I am, but they do not define me. Every year I grow, I become, and I transcend. I learn and evolve. The person that inherently defines me is my rather spirited character but the person I was even a year ago is a ghost and shadow of my former self—I barely recognize her at all. Life is fluid and ever-changing and so are we. That being said, if someone has wronged people in a criminal way, or done something malicious to another, they should have the balls to apologize for their past behaviors no matter how long ago the incident. A lot of things CAN be solved by a humble apology or trying to make things right, too.
We should never apologize for walking away in the spirit of self-preservation. If I have walked out on someone (or something,) there is a huge chance that I had really, really good reasons for doing so. It’s never a decision I make lightly. It doesn’t mean I stopped caring about the person but it does mean I am not going to play anymore. I am too old to engage in toxic relations with people and want to focus that energy on the people and things that bring joy and passion into my life. I will try for a period, and give them many chances to prove they have a good nature, but at the end of the day if there is more good than bad I will exit or keep my emotional distance permanently.
We should never apologize for bad/sad/messy/off days. Sometimes we all have bad days— sometimes we’re a little antisocial or awkward and that is okay. I was super-guilty of being self-conscious about not being a “small talk” person or apologizing for being unhappy when legitimately horrible things were going on in my life— but no more. I’m letting that freak flag fly. Welcome to my (creative) mess. I will do my best to just tell people ahead of time I am having a “blah” day and then keep to myself. Sometimes being an introverted-extrovert (or vice versa) means we gotta recharge.
We should never apologize for being sensitive. I was often accused of being “oversensitive” in the past (I probably was at times, to be sure) and now that I’m older I have kind of balanced out and am sensitive on a palatable level. But that doesn’t mean that I should never be allowed to cry, or be upset, or have actual emotions about anything. In a society of disconnect, being sensitive is a liability. My sensitivity is what comforts my daughter when she cries and cuts people slack when they clearly are having a rough patch. I should never have been made to feel ashamed for feeling things more deeply than some people do.
I support those who need supporting and whether it comes out as “I’m sorry” or a long diatribe about how much I love and am there for them, it’s genuine and from the heart and people that take issue with that just need to get over it. I’m NOT sorry about that one. No one should ever have to apologize for being kind.
We should only apologize for the things that are worth apologizing about. We shouldn’t have to feel guilty or sorry about things that are out of our control. Just because someone doesn’t take ownership doesn’t mean you have to. We should use that energy in more profound and constructive ways to fuel our inner fires and become what we are meant to be. So guys (and girls)— no apologies (unless you truly NEED to apologize.) You’re officially on notice! :)
It's that time of year again where everything is full of life and flowers are blooming everywhere. Whether you celebrate the holiday or not, there is something very wonderful about dyeing eggs. Some of my fondest memories from my childhood were in the kitchen, painting and dipping eggs and putting those little plastic shrink wraps with the chicken or bunny printed on them. Traditionally Easter eggs were a symbol of fertility/rebirth/bored farmers, but the egg game has definitely hardcore evolved the last few years (blame Pinterest!) I'm really excited to try some of these out with my own kids this year and make some new traditions and memories (terrarium eggs, anyone?!) I want to do them all--they're so pretty! What kind are you wanting to do this year? The possibilities are endless!
via Delia Creates
via Artistic Moods (work by the talented Dinara Mirtalipova)
via Sweet Paul
via Honest to Nod
via SheKnows
via The Alison Show
via Whole Foods
via Lily Ardor
via A Crafted Life
via hello, wonderful
via Alice and Lois
via My Poppet
via Martha Stewart
via Flax + Twine
via Oh Happy Day
via Oh Joy!
via Paper & Stitch
"老泥妹" by k ying wong
“And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
They danced by the light of the moon.”
"neukölln." by Robert Basik
"icefalls" by Veronika Gilková
"..." by Stephane Grasset
"untitled" by Toby Harvard
"Chloé, 2017." by Giulia Micheila
"Noa | Worthy Is the Lamb" by michel nguie
"Rims" by Susan Blase
"untitled" by Lucía Pereyra
"Klimt Memory" by Naomi
These are the simple, cozy things. When the world is hectic and emotions are high, it is nice to focus on the feeling of the ground beneath your bare feet, the cool hardness of the ceramic plate, or the soft fluid feeling of petals. This week we are rounding up some of our favorite minty marvels from across the world:
