1.
Space Out Your Move:
If you're not moving across the country, it isn't always beneficial to move everything in one go. Since I was in the position of commuting anyway, it made sense to allow myself an entire month to go through my belongings, decide what I definitely couldn't part with (and what i could), and go through everything with my boyfriend to see if we
really
needed two microwaves or two sets of silverware.
2.
Gauge Your Partner's Moving Style:
Although ideally, most partners welcome change, it doesn't always work out the way we envision. My partner, for example, was really resistant to having things moved around and balked at every load I brought to our new home.
This is pretty typical of folks who have lived on their own for a while
, especially if you are moving into an existing residence rather than getting a new home together. My solution, which was silly but also effective, was to move the smaller loads while he wasn't home, or not have him help me move those loads. When he only had to move some furniture and any of the heavier stuff, it cut down a lot of the tension. I then could put unpack at my leisure and once he saw the house start coming together (without me making too many major changes), he never failed to mention how it looked way better than it did before I moved in.
3.
Six Months Rule:
If you're having a disagreement over placement, colors, or certain pieces of furniture, tell your partner that you would like to try it for six months-- if they are still unhappy with it after six months, you will change it back. The key to this is that six months is a long damn time, realistically. By the time the six months had rolled around, they likely will have forgotten all about those changes and may have even grown accustomed to them or even like them now.
4.
COMPROMISE!:
That being said, you can't use the Six Months Rule with everything. Sometimes you just gotta get over that old seventies eyesore of a recliner in your living room, or the life-sized cardboard cutout of THOR in the guest room. Because whether you love these things or not, they do. And if you love each other, you have to accept the fact that cohabitation means blending your personalities together, not snuffing one's individuality out.
5.
Do New Things Together:
This doesn't just apply to cohabitation alone, but it is so good for your relationship to do new things together and build up rituals and traditions-- it releases stress from outside influences and strengthens the bond with your partner. Moved to a new neighborhood? Go on a nature walk and document little things or trails and parks to visit. Look up a recipe together for something you've never eaten before and experiment with different ingredients. Learn about a new subject, craft, or place together. Go on a thrifting adventure (we did this a few weeks ago and had so much fun).